His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
