I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
