i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
