it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
These tits shall not be calmed
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