their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
