With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My bed smells like the plague
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