so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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