I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
