You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
