hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
