two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
