please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
