I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
