For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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