So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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