After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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