thus making me awesome and them whores
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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