When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
