I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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