i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
