u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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