she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
