Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
