It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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