I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
