i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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