we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
