he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
