I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
