great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
