I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
