i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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