He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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