dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
