Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
