when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
