once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
