At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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