She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
