drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
