I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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