Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
