Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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