Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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