I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
