He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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