Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
there's paper in my vomit.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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