if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
