this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
