so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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