Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
