My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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