he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
